anxiety

A Hardworking Loser

And you can too!!!

What’s up reader?

This year, I’ve been working on both my writing and my life. I’ve been dealing with constant stress and anxiety. I have little to show for it except two final grades and the bags beneath my eyes. Who needs sleep anyway?!

I can only hope that taking about 10 days’ vacation (holiday) later this month will be sufficient in reversing the strain from seven months of hard work (not that I haven’t been working hard before this). That all sound like a stretch to anyone else? All I know is that it can’t hurt!

Afterward, because I haven’t found a house to buy, despite initially being reassured that it would only take two to three months at the start of the year, I’ll be moving back in with my parents. Rent is too damn high! That’s an old school meme. That’s not all of the reason. Looking for another apartment, a roommate(s), and signing a yearlong lease doesn’t make much sense when you’re looking to purchase your own place, right? Right.

I’m still working on writing a book too while working full time and going back to school. Although this is a different book than mentioned previously. I’ve ventured off into fantasy with a story that’s been in my head for a while. I’m reading a lot of fantasy too, which is something I never really got into before now. I think that, given current events, this is not that surprising a departure, even for a Nonfiction writer.

How do I do it? Isn’t it obvious?

I am a hardworking loser.

There’s nothing easy about taking on/being in the arts. This is truer than ever. Especially in the U.S, acceptance has taken an all-time low despite it being needed more than ever. I.E. Every company needs a design and marketing strategy, websites need copy, television and movies need scripts, publications need articles (also sometimes referred to as copy), and people, in general, need escape.

The good news is:

If you’re struggling, you just might be doing it right.

Some people get lucky, know just the right people, write just the right thing at just the right time. But for the rest of us, it’s the grind or it’s nothing.

If you thought breaking into it was going to be simple, not wrought with drudgery and disappointment, I also have some bad news for you…

It might never get any better.

That’s not to say it will be bad, but that you’re never guaranteed any form of success and/or satisfaction. If you’re like me, creating is its own enjoyment. I’ve been told I light up when I talk about writing (incidentally, been told the same when I recant fishing stories). Sometimes that’s enough. Sometimes it has to be enough. We all have to learn and change. If you didn’t, how can you call yourself creative? Stagnation is the alternative. Sounds boring.

Look at me: Single, about to be 30, overworked, an abundance of debt, about to move back with parents despite a paying job that just covers the costs of living. I find it very frustrating and often depressing, but I still manage to find happiness in life, occasionally. Not to be a downer or anything.

Life is strange.

It’s hard and it’s unpredictable. It can be terrible, but it can also be awesome. It’s part perspective and part how much shit is thrown your way. And the other part is how you choose to deal with it. That’s three parts. I’m so good at math(s).

How to deal?

Might I recommend taking up a creative hobby, besides the one you might already have? Or maybe getting exercise and trying to eat healthily? Sometimes working hard and finishing something is helpful. Have you tried fishing?

I do all of the above. Except fishing, I don’t do that very often anymore.

It’s important to find an outlet. And it can be extremely necessary to find more than one. That can be tricky due to time restrictions, but it’s still good to prioritize yourself.

Are you a hardworking loser? What do you do to get by? How are you doing? Let me know.

Seriously, I hope anyone reading this is doing well or trying to do well.

Feel free to leave a comment, like this post, and, please, share it. Suggestions for future topics are always welcome.

 

Sincerely yours,

Nathan

I’ll Be Real With You (in June)/What Have I Been Working On?

Hi.

How are you?

How are things?

Oh, I’m fine. Tired. Been up to a lot is all.

So, I took Typography I and Adaptation by Design at the University of Baltimore this Spring. My final projects took a lot out of me, but the overall creative elements were amazing and reinvigorating, to an extent.  I mean, I’m absolutely burned out on design, but I still love it.

For Typography, I was instructed to create a cookbook layout for a family recipe along with a cover for the book it would be in. There were a lot of elements to this that were difficult to keep straight, but I somehow managed. I ended up finishing with a nice layout of Broccoli Casserole. One thing I discovered in this process was that I’m not very good at photography, or, really, not very good at food photography. Nature? I’m ok. People? Yeah, I go that. Food? Nope. In the end, I had to purchase a stock photo of something that looked an awful lot like broccoli casserole because it was not only the nicest (not) broccoli casserole of the few broccoli casseroles but also went along well with the layout.

For my Adaptation course, I took the movie Battleship, and adapted it into a card game with tokens featuring the red and white pegs we all know and love. The movie was weird, but this was fun for me to do. I based the card size off Pokemon, and the basic layout on the now out of print, Star Wars Customizable Card Game. Suggested game play mechanics are similar to the original board game but with Star Wars elements mixed in. In total, using screenshots from the movie, I designed/adapted 81 cards, some character, some effect, and some ships. Although it wasn’t necessary, I spent over two days printing and cutting out the cards to give to my professor. Before that was a lot of guess-and-checking of general layout for printing. It was a headache, but ultimately was well worth the added effort. I like doing stuff like that. I’m a weird workaholic, but I enjoy myself. I promise. Also, did you know there’s a whole school of thought on Adaptation Studies? I swear I’m not making this up. It was really interesting!

Other things I’m working on: A Memoir Collection about sports I used to play (it’s on hiatus right now, but I’m getting back to it) and a potential fantasy genre book(? [a real departure for me, to say the least]). I blame my brother-in-law for this for introducing me and getting me hooked on the King Killer Chronicles.

Now, some honesty.

Going back to school is a hassle. You know, in a good way. Picking up new skills and sharpening the ones that you have is always going to be good and advantageous for you, but the work that you will have to put in, the parts of life you will have to sacrifice i.e. sleep, relationships, your weekends, etc. can be a fairly big negative in terms of going back or starting in the first place. There are other areas too that make it difficult, depending on your situation. I know that, for me, working full time and taking on two graduate level design classes was rough.  On top of that, I was doing other stressful stuff that hasn’t helped my mental or emotion health. I’ve been working on that though.

I have only told a handful of people what I’m about to tell you now. Really, I was hoping to have already finished it before telling anyone else, but I’ve decided that, in this blog, I’d come clean and be real with you all.  I’ve been looking into BUYING A HOUSE. 

AAAAAAHHHH!!! OHMYGOD! OHMYGOD! OHMYGOD!

*DEEP BREATH*

*Ahem* Sorry…

As I was saying, I’ve done a lot of the work to get grants and whatnot, but have yet to come up with finding the right place with not too many issues. Hey, my current budget is finite, to say the least. It’s been hectic on top of everything else. But that’s life.

My whole thing about taking on a lot is perseverance is key. Pushing your way through life is what it takes sometimes. BUT it’s important to try to enjoy it. Some of the design stuff, for instance, was great because it meant I could flex my creative muscles. Sure, I was reading some questionable stuff on x-heights, ascenders, and franchises but I was also doing things that I found enjoyable in the midst of all this effort.

And it paid off. Once I find this new home and get moved in, I’ll have one more thing to enjoy. Notice the confidence in that sentence. I’ll get it done, eventually. What I’m trying to say is that, especially for creative types, you’re going to have to do things you don’t like or are uninteresting to get by, it’s virtually inevitable, but that shouldn’t stop you and you shouldn’t let it stop you from finding enjoyment in life.

Don’t give up being creative!

It might mean that you have to dig out times to do the things you want, but for your own sake keep doing!!

It’s easier said than done, I know. Don’t be discouraged by cliché phrases. It might not seem like it, but it’s worth it. I mean, if you’re going to want your life to be lived a certain way, then live it. Where there’s a will there’s a way, am I right?

Don’t answer that. I know I am.

Ok, I’m done. I promise.

 

Thank YOU for reading this. If you have any topics you’d like me to cover, have any questions or comments, then feel free to let me know.

 

Yours,

Nathan