Snowmageddon is a twitter novel I wrote while living through snowstorm/blizzard Jonas in Baltimore, MD. All accounts are based on real events. Parts of this have been dramatized for your amusement. Other parts have been hyperbolized for mine. I hope you enjoy.


Chapter 1: Baltimore morning

I awoke to smog skies & coffee, fully equipped for whatever monstrous perdition was coming.


Chapter 2: Shuttle

Took off with me standing slick-shoed, nearly busted my head open. Streets bustling as incoherently as ever.


Chapter 3: Office

Empty cubes like they forgot to plant seeds in this farm. No windows to witness impending doom; a ringing in ears.

They ask the impossible and then shorten the day. Haven’t seen the sun yet. Racing time. The snow(man) cometh.

Day ever shortens. Sirens scream to me outside street side. Still snowless. Still gray. Still in suspense.


Chapter 4: Shuttle Revisited

Cold air pierces me; lungs burn in icy inhale as I run to catch the last before being stranded.

Pinned into my seat, spoken to from behind, thrashed by bumpy roads, I grow ever anxious. Where is the storm?


Chapter 5: Home Again

These walls hold warmth. I sit. I wait. I plan. I’ll have to burn the table if the lights go out.

My father’s knife and a can of soup. Search before snow for forgotten supplies, watching urbanites lose their minds


Chapter 6: Beginnings

Outside. Cross paths with pit bull, jovial. Owner mean mugging me. Pick up spirits for improved incarceration.

Few flakes descend. I curse the sky as a white hell opens above, a wintry damnation.

Exercise while animal flesh cooks on what might be the last chance at electricity. Sky swirls milky. This is it.


Chapter7: Evening

And the night fell on me. A haze mixed into the blizzard. Those dumb enough to be out, scurrying blind.

I hear the futile scraping of shovels on sidewalk. I can only imagine the battered faces, defeated, struggling.

And then there was silence. Snow and silence. Silence.


Chapter 8: Day Two

Sounds of sleet and gusts batter my window. Flashes of light with thunder. The city is caked in white.

I stare at this interminable storm. When the winds begin to fade, I will go out to it. Clench fists, white knuckle.

And the pale roads ran empty, the air churning a frozen mist. A single soul scutters inside, escaping wind’s wail.

Lights flickered, vanished. Clocks in the kitchen were suddenly faceless. The apartment dim. Time to burn the table?


Chapter 9: Chaos

And I watched them wander the streets as the cold sunk into me. They were ants.

I stand in the doorway looking down darkened hall. A shadow flits across distant wall. Where is everyone?

I slinked the black stairwell 20 flights down for water. I grasped another hallway to sit candlelight w/friend.


Chapter 10: Camaraderie

Soon I took to shiver, the dark enveloping me. I ventured out to wander roads, hidden by depths of snow.

Winds blew snow mounds throwing icy dust in my face. The bar was a welcome relief with friends all around.

I opened my eyes, I was on the floor of a warm room with a gash upon my leg and a cat curled up beside.


Chapter 11: The Return

I stumbled outside, slipping on snow but catching railing. The streets remained covered, densely packed.

I squinted from the glare of the ground, searching. Dozens of people were trudging through snow, with blank faces.

Avoided roving zombies of shocked blizzard victims and returned home to heat and light, a short lived joy.

Again, I was home. All seemed well. I immediately went back to sleep to wake to a lack of water & hallway black.

My shin wound inflamed, pain crawling to my thigh. It kept me locked in my room, my mouth growing ever drier.


Chapter 12: The End

Sweat poured. I rushed to the bathroom frantically looking for ointments. I slept, praying for salvation.

I rose to sun behind clouds, weak. I checked for lights, water. All in order. Rode elevator. Found outside in frozen disrepair

I followed the footpaths etched in the snow, all roads & sidewalks seemed to have either disappeared or changed.

And I saw it, the pharmacy, windows lit & open. But I stopped, an obstacle in my way.

There I was. There it was. Truck stood idol, growling; another truck in its bed. Walls of white on either side.

It approached, that leviathan, and I stood my ground with nowhere else to go or desire to try.

It came within inches, breathing mechanized heat, giving way to me. I stepped around it and hobbled on my way.

And as I made my final return, the sun was made visible, the skies watched blue, the wind’s scream almost melodious.


*Announcer voice* Is this the end of our intrepid narrator? Is this the end of Snowmageddon? For now, it is. But tune in next time it snows!


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